This post is in response to my wife’s post called “Lucky to be in Love with My Best Friend“. I was a little caught off guard when I read her post today as it is not our anniversary or Valentine’s day or some other occasion when you might expect some type of romantic message from your spouse. It happens to be my 39th birthday today but that’s not really cause for such kind words from my Sweetie. So I’m not really sure what the catalyst was for her post but I do appreciate it and I hope that some day I will live up to the picture she painted. I confess that I felt honored but I also felt slightly embarrassed that she shared such intimate words with the world.
I would like to turn the table by asking this question: “A wife of noble character who can find?”
I had no idea when I met Bethany how hard it is for some men to find a virtuous and capable wife. I married her because she was my best friend, because I liked her curves, and because she understood me and accepted me for me. I obviously thought she would be a good wife and mother but at that time (21 years old) I had never defined in my own mind what it means to be a good wife and mother. I know now that what I have is “more precious than rubies”. I say that not because my wife is beautiful, or because she is a great cook, or because she is witty and smart. She is all of those things but so are many terrible wives and mothers. What sets my wife apart are things that are very subtle. Here are some examples:
- I have NEVER heard my wife talking poorly about me with other women. She has always shown me the highest respect, even when I didn’t deserve it. I’m not saying she didn’t give me an earful when I needed to hear it but she made sure it was between me and her…..not her and a bunch of friends.
- She has always encouraged me and been vocal about her appreciation for what I do for her and for the kids. She supported me as I transitioned careers even though we made far less money during the process. She watched the kids, without complaining, while I studied after work and on weekends to make the change. She told me she believed in me and that she trusted me to provide for our family.
- She is not afraid to get her hands dirty or pitch in and help when times are tough. She will mow the yard if I can’t get to it. She will take a part or full time job if needed to supplement our income. I know that she is doing life WITH ME…not just next to me.
- She is willing to do what’s right or what’s hard even when its not what she wants to do or what’s fun. She mills grain so our family can eat the healthiest foods. She home-schools our children so they can have the best education. She puts me and the kids’ best interests above her own everyday, whether it be her time, desires, peace of mind, entertainment, relaxation, money, etc.
The list goes on and on but the point is that it’s easy for me to be something like the man she describes in her post because I’m responding to the amazing love and respect she has lavished on me year after year since we first walked down the aisle.
Bethany and I have observed that marriages are either spiraling up or down in the cycle of Love & Respect. She respects me and I love her for it. I love her and she respects me for it. It just gets better and better as we stack on the years. However, some marriages are suffering because the husband doesn’t feel respected so he doesn’t act lovingly toward his wife. She doesn’t feel loved so it’s hard for her to respect her husband. Round and round, down and down they go until the inevitable divorce or, maybe even worse, the bitter and unloving partnership until death. Every time you open your mouth, every decision you make, every thought you think, you are either building your marriage up or tearing it down. I’m so thankful I have Bethany to spiral up the marriage staircase with.
I’m sorry for the long post. All I really wanted to say is “I’m blessed to be in love with my best friend!”
I love you Bethany! (Unconditionally, Devotionally, and Eternally)